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Saturday, December 31, 2005

star gazing 2006

I am no astrologer, it is not for me to speak in terms of the 11 hour 11 minute 11 second way of things – I just thought how nice it would be if all of us could predict how the new year 2006 will turn out to be for us. I have not set any boundaries for myself; hence, nothing is taboo. One thing is certain – a new political outfit is waiting in the wings for the opportune moment to announce its arrival and, a combine within a combine is poised for take off – the brain child of the man with the lantern, it remains to be seen whether the lantern will pave the road to prosperity.

Your lucky number for each day can be based on a logic that you can define yourself – for example, TSOTD of when you open the day’s newspaper or when you have your first sip of tea or the reporting time of the domestic help or the waiting period at the elevator or the time lost in settling arguments of the kids or the time spent in meetings the previous day. (TSOTD means ‘the sum of the digits’)

Similarly, the color of each day can be arbitrarily chosen by you as the shirt worn by the paper delivery boy or the housecoat worn by your missus or the handbag of the woman who accompanies you in the elevator or the first car you see when you look out of the window.

So here are the results of star gazing for 2006 -

Aries – stop bleating like a lamb. Run away to some safe destination before they take you to the slaughterhouse. Lamb chops are no longer in fashion but who knows – there could be a revival. Devour those biscuits that can convert you to a tiger. The growl is better than the bleat. Be careful of sweet talkers in 2006.

Taurus – you have earned the wrath of the people. Improve your style of functioning. The country is in a resurgent mood – illegal occupation of roads is viewed seriously. Our power centers are wooing foreigners; we do not want you to scare them away. In 2006, walk the streets only at nighttime when the world sleeps. Dalal Street is the exception.

Gemini – your tribe has had wonderful times in our filmdom. We live on the lost-and-found brother/sister storylines. Invariably one of you is the one who is tortured, and the other is the one who comes to his or her rescue, as the case may be. We have always had two brothers or two sisters – that is financially advantageous to the producer. Insist on a change in combination for 2006, which will be lapped up by the public.

Cancer – everyone is afraid to come in contact with you. They avoid you like the plague. You have not confined yourself to just the human beings but have invaded practically all walks of life. Explore possibilities of changing the ‘C’ to a ‘D’ - we all love the dancer, especially she who performs the hot item numbers. 2006 holds promises for the chocolate coated ones.(continued …. )

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