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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

domestic bliss

A very popular series of soaps on the TV would have us believe that domestic bliss is an entity that can be captured and hung up in the drawing room like a priceless painting of M F Hussein for others to see and appreciate. When families meet on the occasion of festivals and laugh and joke, the under currents of rivalry are never exposed. They remain in the background to jump upon the unwary viewer once the members disperse after performing the mandatory rituals. A similar philosophy drives the makers of ads to select small families who appear to be in complete harmony with the world, who love to share moments of happiness in their newly purchased car, who have for company a couple of elders, presumably the parents of the man. Such scenes are extremely rare in the present day otherwise how can one explain the rise in the rates of divorce or suicides. When two young persons decide to join company in holy matrimony, they enjoy the initial phase but, then, other considerations come in the way as stumbling blocks. In a majority of cases they had individual lives to lead, individual needs to fulfill. Suddenly they discover that compromises are necessary, one must yield in one area to gain the advantage in another. And, the game begins.

Yes, domestic bliss is a game of sorts. It is all about understanding each other, being positive and never scaring the partner. As a husband replied when asked the reason for his success – ‘I take all the difficult decisions and leave her to take easy ones.’ He also clarified that difficult decisions were related to world affairs like whether George Bush was right in treating Saddam Hussein as he has done, whether India should pursue for a seat in the Security Council etcetera.

Jokes apart, tiny things do make a difference in keeping a healthy domestic life – tiny things like helping out the missus in the kitchen by shelling peas or by skinning the garlic. Small acts like these bring one closer to the other and pave the way for a long and happy married life where lawyers can never dare to intrude.


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