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Monday, December 27, 2004

nutty resolutions 2005

Every year on New Years Eve it is customary to resolve to do something or the other in the ensuing year – or, not to do something or the other in the ensuing year. People may ridicule such noble intentions saying that these are predominantly western concepts and do not deserve to be encouraged in our Society. Still, resolutions are made even if only to satisfy our inner selves. We may not be serious about giving up smoking or from restraining our drinking habits or putting a leash on our hidden desire for the beautiful new-comer to our office. But, the charade goes on.

The twelve following resolutions have not been made Public ass yet and are likely to remain as such. These are to be taken in the proper spirit and you are at liberty to modify these to suit your needs! In fact, they may inspire you to evolve some more nutty resolutions –
So, here goes …

I am a sanyasin and need to be humble – in the New Year 2005 I resolve not to revolt in Public and embarrass those who have brought me in the limelight.

I am a cricketer. I resolve not to run after records. If 35 has to come, it will.

I am another cricketer. I resolve not to talk about impossible white-washes.

I am yet another cricketer and resolve not to brag about continuing to score three hundreds continuously.

I am an over-sixty actor. In my heydays, I used to be the idol of all young men. I resolve not to lend my voice or my image to ads that look and sound silly.

I am a young actor. My father pulls my legs in public and my friends delight in putting me in straight jackets just to rid me of my chips. I resolve not to advertise chips during 2005.

I am a singer. I resolve not to pass off popular English tunes of the sixties as my own creations and earn accolades just because those who sit in judgment are not aware of English songs of the sixties.

I am a lady singer. I resolve not to blame my dress designer for my dress falling off when I do not want it to.

I am an actress. Before making it big on the silver screen, people used to love my dimples and the nutty chocolates that I advertised in. With so many dimple girls on the scene, I resolve not to show off my dimples.

I am a weight lifter. I resolve not to resort to performance enhancing drugs just because my trainer says I should.

I am a Politician – I resolve to find out the constituency from which I won the Elections and became an MP.

I am a lady Politician. I look the picture of the perfect Indian woman with my bountiful head of hair and the large vermilion bindi right in the centre of my forehead. I resolve not to entertain thoughts of shaving off my hair just to gain cheap popularity.

other interesting links:
destination india
indian satire
sweets of india
festivals of india
wonder women of india


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